I have decided to visit Delusional Lisaland for the holidays. Nigella is coming early to make her coleslaw and enjoy a mimosa or three; Tina is bringing some of her homemade coffee whiskey mustard and making the sauteed cabbage (I am sure she will be most impressed with the Ham); I will make the Ham, glorious roast potatoes (I think I forgot to mention those earlier), and crostata; and Gordon will spend some serious time sharpening my knives because I have no idea how to use a steel and I find it mesmerizing to watch him go mental on knives. I almost expect them to sing when he's done with them. I will also insist he bring Tana, one to put paid to the rumours that he was having an affair and two, to tell her ad nauseum how often I use her cookbooks and how much I love so many of her recipes. Maybe I'll let her make the crostata.
We will then drink boozy coffee in front of the fireplace and make up dirty limericks and tell salacious tales about celebrities we don't like.
Now that's a holiday.